The Unfathomable Delirium An online repository of my informal writing

Villagers from Agusan del Sur captured via a trap a 21-feet long crocodile last week, September 3. The saltwater croc, which weighs 1,075 kg, is thought to be the largest captured crocodile in the world, surpassing the 18-feet-long Australian crocodile that holds the Guinness world record. 

Photo taken here

The crocodile, soon named “Lolong,” is now kept in a penned pond, and is planned by the local government of Bunawan to use as a tourist bait. This is so fitting because other that its enormous size, Lolong is made even more interesting by the assumption that it killed two people—a fisherman who went missing on July, and a 12-year-old girl who the croc purportedly decapitated (so cinematic!). Edwin Cox Elorde, Bunawan mayor, also claims that the croc killed a carabao.

Now this animal here is exactly what people want to get in close contact with. 

Photo taken here

I thought this news is actually pretty cute—a record-breaking man-eater is captured by the townspeople, who see the captive as a potential source of income. If ever their plan to market the beast for viewing pans out, then it will be good for the local government’s economy. The tourists would also get what they’d pay for (which I assume is “seeing an extraordinary natural wonder” and not “getting their heads pulled off”). It’s a win-win situation, really. Except PETA thinks we’re being the inconsiderate heartless creatures that we are...again.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)-Asia Pacific campaigner Ashley Fruno said that Lolong is better off set free, back to the wild and away from humans. She said that zoos can never replicate the natural environment of the crocodile and may only make it crazy, as in the acting-up-like-a-rebellious-Disney-star kind of crazy. She called for the government to do the “compassionate thing” and release the caged beast.

As usual, PETA’s concern is real and I agree that wildlife should be in the wild. But the last time the giant croc was in the wild, it beheaded a kid. Again she’s probably right that the smart thing to do other than locking up Lolong is to put it in a place far away from people. However, where the hell in the Philippines could that possibly be?

So, what should we do about the giant crocodile? Cage it? Free it? Or just kill it, para tapos ang usapan? Here are some really witty suggestions made by our compatriots in this article.

Now here, a commenter just got lost from the topic.